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but you can't have a rainbow ,



without any rain;

Biography

VANESSA

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Credits

Designer: ongsiying xo

=\

sorry.
today just isnt my day.
i was not in a good mood.

nevertheless, i would like to thank those people who have helped me loads to get those instruments!
let me just name a few: Farhad, JA, Colin, HuiCi, HuiCi's brother, Hussaini, Patricia, etc.
thank you very much! i would have just died if you all didnt helped me. thanks a million!


i stopped , Wednesday, April 29, 2009 10:58 PM


just shut up for once please?

i dont care about recognition. i just want to do my part till my term is done.
but the thing that i dont really understand is why when we worked like some mad dogs to get things smoothly done for others, all they do is complain? they never know what kind of shit we have done.
is this just human? where people just complain about everything and anything? why cant people just show some appreciation and shut up for a moment? if things are not up to standard, try being in the shoes of those working like mad dogs. it wont be any better i guess.
arrr... i think i should not complain about anything of those things. i shall just do my part.


never nag at me. cus i wont give a damn about it.


i stopped , Sunday, April 26, 2009 11:07 PM


speechless.

the weather is seriously getting from bad to worse.
and i cannot believe i walked under the damn hot sun and went for piano on my own. as usual i was late and i didnt had breakfast, so i went to AMK hub to get bubble tea on the way. LOL.
and i finally bought a book which i need for my theory. arr! finally got my hands on the book. if not have to always borrow from my teacher during lesson. but also good. cus i dont need to do my homework. LOL.

somehow, nowadays, i rather stay out than being at home. whenever i think of home, only my bed comforts me. nothing else. the rest are all naggings nonstop. they like to act as if they know, but they actually know nothing. nothing at all. so stop complaining that i always come home late or whatever shit. im not that free to entertain your naggings.

its seriously your choice. you dont have to tell us actually. cus i know sooner or later, things will be like this. if this is what you think, so be it. its just excuses. if we can put in the effort and sacrisfy our time, i dont see why you cant. afterall, its for the passion.

fuck.


i stopped , 12:59 AM


WTH.

today is an irritating day. it all started with my damn contact lens, thanks to my dry eyes.
then it was the walking to school under the damn hot sun. i was wearing black with jeans!
then it was some other things which i dont want to mention cus i know im responsible for it.
then it was band. freaking tired and the badly aching right shoulder.

but i thank god for some good things that made my day.
team mates were not bad. although i was quiet, they made me talk and even laugh! nice team!
farhad saved my life by loaning me the instrument.
my circle of friends! they never fail to put a smile on my face and make my day when anything happens.
the sight of my bed. i know a day is over and i can sleep. and weekends are coming!


everything might seem out of place.
but this is life, accept it. it's never fair at all.
5 mintues of anger or 5 years of anger, its up to one's decision.
but why make yourself suffer when something has already happened.
cry over spilt milk doesnt work.
if you are just going to let an obstacle affect you, then you are never going to stand back on your feet again.
get back on your feet and take it as a lesson learnt.
taking things positive!


i stopped , Thursday, April 23, 2009 11:45 PM


first day of school.

argh! i went to class feeling very awkward even though im in the same class as yanyi. atmosphere was really damn awkward.
first day; first module. statistic thingy. MATHS! i think i will be seeing maths and excel everyday. omg. graphs, graphs and graphs. so i seek help from songren! luckily he's in the same block as me. heh heh heh~ so from what i concluded, i learnt about box plot graph and all the other graphs.
i miss chelsea aka "sis". used to be so dependant on her for EVERYTHING, especially work! now... i have to work on my own and im struggling like mad. chel! change course! come to my class!
hope other modules will be better, including the facilitators.

i can't wait for wednesday. cus i have no lesson! so no need go to school! weeeee~ so i will love wednesdays!

and everytime i load Princess Mononoke, i never get to finish watching it. i can never watch in peace! -.-

im so hooked to SS501. hotties! even the cat does not denies~


i stopped , Monday, April 20, 2009 11:28 PM


school's starting in a few hours time.

im so into Princess Mononoke! needless to say Joe Hisaishi! im trying to watch Princess Mononoke, but im fighting for internet speed with my brothers. so its loading like a snail. damn it!

i didnt know grandma missed me that badly. the first thing she said to me when i stepped into the house was: its been a long time since i seened you. OMG! i feel so bad. so i will try hard not to go out on sundays anymore.
today's weather suck big time. freaking hot! tomorrow onwards, i shall be free from the damn weather, but i have to go to school. damn.

why am i so fucking dumb? tell me, my friend?
now i know, this is our so called "friendship" after all this years. i really tried my best to let go the past and accept you once again, but i guess i was wrong and dumb enough to do so. what a fool i am. i promised myself not to be affected by you anymore, but afterall i still thought of you as a friend all this while.
but this time, its really my fault. i should not have placed any trust in you in the first place.
stop shedding (crocodile) tears, as if i were to care anymore. it wont affect me. i will just carry on with my life as it is.
"sorry" was once in my dictionary.


my guard is up once again thanks to you..

Labels:



i stopped , Sunday, April 19, 2009 10:45 PM


tired.

school officially starts tomorrow. im so not looking forward to it, serious.
i dont like having to change to new classes. im the anti-social kid. i hate it!
i have yet to buy my lappy sleeve, wallet and bag for school. what the hell....

friday was my first time having at least 7hrs of meeting in a day. it spoilt my plan for the day. i didnt have the mood for the second meeting at all. i was totally bushed. futhermore, the second meeting was a total waste of my time.
too much commitments, another makes no difference.

saturday.
piano lesson is all about talking. so my teacher recommended me to watch cartoons/movies. the music is all composed by Joe Hisaishi. rocks man! every of his pieces has his style. rocks, but wrong time to recommend me. im starting school! -.-
late, as usual. i was already in a bad mood all thanks to the crowded bus and stuff. and the security guard has to make it worse. lets go complain him! he's such an ass!
practice was fine. i rather stick to flute all the way. i shall just ask egan to guest play for us. LOL.


i stopped , 1:33 AM


i will try my best!

damn the flu. and so the tissue box remained by my side.

thanks to my mum, i got another nickname.
she suddenly told me that im not supposed to go out on vesak day cus got some family gathering. on it falls on a saturday, but she didnt tell me which saturday. so i thought that it was this coming saturday. and so i thought practice have to be cancelled again cus of a public holiday. BUT vesak day is like next month? -.-

part of our convo was:
mum: your aunties say very long never see you already. they miss you. they say dont know you turn fat, skinny, tall....
me: (continuing her sentence) die already, disappeared..

anw. i met shiwen. she...... i almost wanted to die. we met in the canteen by chance cus she was having recess when i was there. she said she could not recognise me. so i was thinking maybe its cus of my hair. BUT she said i become fatter. oh well. my diet always failes. LOL. -.-
i had subway's double chocolate chip cookie today! weeeee~ im head over heels although im suffering with the damn flu! damn shiok!


i stopped , Wednesday, April 15, 2009 11:38 PM


arrrrrrr!

how many times have they tried to ask you out? how many times have you turn them down? how many times have you postponed? how many time have you given trouble to them to come out with another date?
i really feel very bad. during this 10 weeks of holiday, i didnt really set aside time to hang out with my friends. everytime when they are free, im not. i feel like a spoiler!
i promised and promised, but all the promises were broken.
now that school's starting, where am i going to find time?


im really very sorry!



commitments?
im starting to be afraid of it.

Labels:



i stopped , 1:01 AM


hanbok?

im starting school next week! crap! i want a longer holiday. it felt as if i didnt have any holiday at all. just so freaking busy during the holidays. arrrr! but luckily, my classroom is the same for all 4 days. =)

finally transferred things into my hard disk, but it just sort of hanged halfway. i had to restart my laptop so many times. irritating. dont know if something is wrong with my laptop or hard disk. arrrr! just hope both doesnt spoil after what i have done today.


you are an adult and i will definitely respect what you want to do. its not like i can control your life. you dont have to lie.


i stopped , Monday, April 13, 2009 9:51 PM


my presences is not needed at all.

mummy asked me what grade do i want to take until. i wanted to reply: to my current grade. but loads of people tell me not to stop and carry on cus very wasted. arrr... then she talked to me about university and stuff. irritating!
piano lesson was all about chit-chatting with teacher. she pulled me back into reality. she say until i feel scared about my future although i have not given a thought about my future. arrr! now i made up my mind to work hard! and she concluded me after teaching me for a few years. she said im the kind of relax person (i think so too). she even told me to kan jiong when it is time to, especially when my exams are nearing. i do kan jiong, but i dont really show. whatever it is, i was really being pulled back into reality rather than to live in my own world.

alumni practice was cancelled all thanks to the school. the key to the store room wasnt with the security, so there's no way we can have practice even though we have the room key. -.-
and i think the security guard is of no use. he was sleeping when i walked in! whats the point of having him right? and with his attitude, i almost quarrelled with him. i was already in a bad mood and he still give me attitude. -.-

what's the point of having a comm if you decide things on your own without letting us know? we dont ask for much. at least inform us. we have the rights to know. you dont run the band alone. that's why we are in a team. we should decide things together as a team. we dont do one man show.


i stopped , Saturday, April 11, 2009 11:46 PM


happy good friday

pang seh kia movied with lina and BLWG. "the sniper" is cool cus its filled with hot guys! but the show is okie. it was kind of... (dont know what word to use), and im surprised that a young kid can enter a NC16 movie.
so hyper after dinner today. i know of some things people dont. weeee~ LOL.
and being a nice person, i told ah teck some untold secrets about myself on the way home. but its all history already. no reason think about it anymore.

school's starting like in another week time. suck man. i have not enjoyed enough. can i not go back to school? as what i have mentioned. i rather have 5 hours of practice than to study for an hour.

and pang seh kia will be wearing specs for the time being. damn my nails! hope nothing is wrong with my eyes.

and you guys, please stop calling me auntie! if it werent for you guys, i wont be like this! what's wrong with calling the bell for bus "ding-dong"? very aunite meh?! LOL.


teach me how to be less realistic please.


i stopped , Friday, April 10, 2009 10:27 PM


life is like a box of chocolate.

arrrrr! my hair just got snipped off just like that. people said there's no difference, but to me, there is a hell load of difference! i have been whining to mummy after the hair cut. but mummy bought me shoes, so my mood brighten that bit.
i was watching BBF with mummy on my laptop. im left with the last episode, so i decided to stop for just that bit. next time then complete it. LOL.
mummy and i agreed that jan di suited jihu more. and mummy told me that actually the comic writer written jan di to be with jihu, but many people wanted to see jan di together with jun pyo. so he changed the storyline. WHAT THE HELL?! lol.

i bought "the pianist"! hope i get some motivation after watching it.


i stopped , Thursday, April 09, 2009 11:51 PM


damn the flu.

crawled out of the bed unwillingly. i slept early and woke up late, yet i still dont have enough sleep. crap. so i so happened to start sneezing nonstop till i finally got flu. -.-
headed for piano lesson without doing my theory homework. i feel like a retard. fancy sneezing like mad under the hot sun on my way to the bus stop.
my lesson lasted about 3 hours. i was sitting in one corner finishing up my theory homework (looking at the date, it was over due for about a month) and sms-ing nurul.s with hell load of tissue papers by my side.
and i just found a bruise on my feet. all thanks to my socks and shoes. -.-

well, i guess what mr kang told me yesterday was kind of right. i also rather have practices in the band room for 5 continuous hours than to study for just that 1 hour. very much agree to it. somehow, that's where we ALL(YYCB members) spend most of the time; second home to be more exact.
just thinking back about it reminds me of all those memories we had together as a band. i just love them for the way they are and for who they are!

refering to that statement, it applies to YYCB but not to RPWS.


i stopped , Wednesday, April 08, 2009 9:10 PM


7th April 2009 (7th day)
Band No. 123
YUYING SECONDARY SCHOOL
GOLD!


im just so proud of YYCB! damn happy for them. so far today is the only SYF that i didnt shed a tear. lol.
all those tears of joy. it wasnt a miracle. it was the hard work and effort that had paid off. history made by you guys! =)
after SYF, hang out with the rest at mac for lunch. then headed to vivo.


we went together and ended up? it was really selfish of you all. ever spared a thought for him? what if you were the one instead of him? we were all waiting for you guys to go back home together and your reply was you guys are not going home yet. you made us waited like a retard. it was really too much. couldnt you just give us a call? and not everyone is still on holiday like us. he got school the next day. ever wondered how tired he was after the competition and stuff? what the fuck was that all about?


i stopped , Tuesday, April 07, 2009 11:06 PM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATRICIA LIM BEI YUN!

a kind stranger made my day.
i didnt know it was courtesy month. i saw a number of people walking around giving out stickers. at first sight when you see people giving out stickers, you will think its donation or something. but i was wrong and i figured out what the person is trying to tell me by lip reading. so i took his sticker. then while waiting for bus, another apporached me holding a board saying "have a nice day (: ". then he gave me another sticker. lol.
so when you see these people, just take the sticker from them. (:

im seriously so touched when i saw a member like him. after 5 years, his passion still remained. i salute you!


i stopped , Sunday, April 05, 2009 12:45 AM


dead beat.

its just another 2 more weeks and i will be back in school for lessons. and then im officially year 2. 10 weeks of holiday didnt seemed enough for me. i dont even feel like im having holidays now.
the weather is just so darn screwed up. its just so freaking hot! i just hate going out sometimes, especially when its really scorching hot. even the nights are not cooling at all.
i hate it, hate it. just hate it!

friday's jokes of the day:
- Sherman and his phone!
- Azmir and his reaction!


cus im stupid.
really stupid.


i stopped , Saturday, April 04, 2009 12:37 AM


totally speechless.




its the usual thing. all about words, not action.
so must as well leave everything hanging there.
& dont command me what to do.



i stopped , Friday, April 03, 2009 1:39 AM