you can't have a rainbow , without any rain .

MONDAY BLUES!!

WU ZUN is jus so cute lah can!! wahahax! & im tt ordinary gal which will fa hua chi..its a every gals thing manx! lolx! hahax!

anw..haiix! today's papers..haiix..chem-physics & POA!!! all oso nvr study!! haiix..i can predict ii im gg to fail those papers manx! tmr gt 3 papers..sianx! MT, maths & geog! *argh!* its killer manx!! haiix!

o yah!! i finally told darling the truth le..in terms of the part which js & i r 'putting up a show'..wahahax! dam funny sia..wanted to sae out so long ago le..but den dun have the right time to sae out..wahahax!

aft chem-phys paper..toked to huixin during lessons..chatting like nobody's business lidat! hahax! & i asked her this 2 stupid qns. (to me it is)..den her ans was excatly the same s mine manx! canot believe it..hahax! COOL! lolx! i was very sianx at tt time..den suddenly tot of it & ask her loh..wahahax! lolx! im still & always tt slacker in class! =P

aft skool & aft POA paper..went to canteen to look for li-li & ming..den we did SELF STUDY..hahax! 1st time in this yr manx! ive been slacking like nobody's business can! anw its abt time for me to wake up!! lolx!

tmr gt sectionals!! wahahax! sianx! i nid to bring my instru...oso duno y i borrow back sia..only leave it at hm to 'rot'..hahax!

you are the one for me.
i know it.i guess so.
im on the vurge of giving up all hopes.
but im lying to myself all this while that i still have a ray of hope.
but..is that the fact?
i dont think i have the rights to judge it by myslef.

i stopped , Monday, February 26, 2007 8:39 PM

woohoo!! yan hwee's in my class!! & shes sitting on neelam's sit beside me!! yeah!! =D

anw..superb sianx! geog learnt wat triangle graph..until nw i still dun noe hw to read..still very blur abt it..mus ask laoma teach me agn..party cus i was toking all the while when she was teaching..lolx! den MT..nvr do h/w! hahax! luckily she nvr scold or wat..so heng! den recess..didnt have appitite..so had choco milk..& wanted to test try if i still canot take milk! & i really still canot take milk!! i stomach was superb bloated aft drinking milk! very uncomfortable manx!! den f&n..yeah!! shes nt ard!! den i kena bullied..assembly dam sianx! i slept thru it & read magazine..hahax! den we all duno y kena punished..aft tt still have EL remedial! sianx!

aft skool..waited for ming & lunched wif larling..den i was sort of FORCED to go for sectionals even though i had piano lesson!! very pissed off manx!! alr told him tt i gt piano lesson..den still forced me to go..den i go..i give him face..den he took an inch & ask me to lock up the door cus he nid to rush off to meet his GF!! wah liao! i alr told him before i went for luch tt i have piano lesson le loh..he really ZHONG SE QING YOU 1 loh!! ive been torlerating this for very long le loh..den i was there toking very loudly & scolding him when he was like so near..den i think the darling & friends having their sjab prac gt a shcok lah! they looked shocked & weere laughing..lolx! den he came to look for me..but i was superb pissed & told him to jus go away..den he i sae i attitude!! wth!! whos the 1 bringing problems to others?! den i think li-li they all help me sae him back..yeah!! & wat makes the matter worse is that im supposed to collect the band essays from those ppl who nvr hand in & kena punished..den only 3 looked for me..wth! & i did asked those tt i saw loh..im nt to care le..im so gg to le the whole of em who nvr hand to kena punished even more!! many thanx to those ppl who were beside me listening to me when im angry..

things these few days r sum hw nt gg rite for me manx! im still stuck wif tt load of stuff left undone!! im so dead!! common test are all cuming!! & i have nt prepared anything yet!! -argh!- im having a bad feeling manx! *CHOY!* lets hope nt!

im obsessed wif this show & this guy in the show!! omg!! WU ZUN!! so cute lah!! omg! JJ oso..superb sia!

how i wish tt u would be beside me,
comforting and trying to cheer me up when im down..

will you be there to walk the distance with me?

i stopped , Wednesday, February 21, 2007 10:13 PM

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR PPL!!

friday:
okies..on the eve of new yrs eve..no band! superb sianx! i wanted to have band prac lah! lolx! okies..nvm..den went to bugis street & far east wif my bro, ming, li-li, larling, weng guan, sam, jianwei etc..SHOPPING!! but b4 tt, i went hm to gt changed & took $$ & my 'walking ATM' aka my bro..FUN is wat we had! helped my bro to choose cap & jian wei to choose shirt..

sat:
new yrs eve! went out to have reunion dinner wif li-li, ming & nancy..wanted to have steamboat in marina..but den all closed..sianx! den we went to marina square..ate swensen den went shopping agn! hahax! didnt buy anything there..culdnt find the thing i want..den i went to J8 to walk & c gt anot..den no chioce..jus anyhw grab a shoe & rushed to my grands place for stemboat!! YEAH!!

sun:
lunar new yr! my bro woke me up at 10+ when the we shld be at my grands place at tt time! lolx! every1 except my bros slept till 10+..hahax! den had vegetarian lunch-cum-breakfast at my grands place..saw my cute lil niece can! dam cute lah! love her so much! den sit ard..tok-tok den leave for visitings..

mon:
went to my other grandma place for lunch! den went to my uncles place..den went to yishun to watch movie!! its a routine lah..hahax! den we watched just follow law..dam nice lah! hahax! very funny! den went hm for dinner den went to my aunty huse..den they all cum over to my huse..lolx!

today:
went out agn! wahahax! went to lao dad's huse!! YEAH!! he stay same blk as my aunty lah! same place..but diff lvl..lolx! den ordered pizza cus its meant to b pot luck! den haiix! things happened! we were asked to go to hougang mall to collect the pizza den gt 20% discount..den lao dad drove us there..den they were nt there! lolx! den lao dad drove ard thinking where gt pizza hut..den he gave up & we went back..den we called the person to deliver to the blk..lolx! waste our time sia! den they scared mf..lolx! dam funny! den left at abt 3+..

my dad + bro picked me up cus we gg to compass to change my plan..my bill very high..i oso noe! its nt like i want it to be high lidat rite?! wat to do..its nt like i wasting the $ disturbing others rite?! cus of band den im doing all this lah! i oways think my dad have nth better to do & want to quarrel wif me loh..i jus step into the car den he keep on saying me le..wth! my bro msged me..i read..den i nvr reply cus i noe le mah..den u want me to reply every lil single thing den u want to conplain tt my bill very high! wat is this nonsense manx! den ytd cus i have nt finished planning wif my friends yet..den he make so much noise! lolx! itsnt like i can predict if nth will happen at tt time rite?! its nt like i might nt change plans rite?! -argh!- im jus so dam pissed off lah! anw..den sae maureen & adam at oompass..hahax!

den cum hm..rmbred tt i have f&n to finish! OMG!! i dun think i can finish it loh..stupid her!! keep on making us rush our coursework! WE R NT GODS OKIES!

everything jus seems different without u...

i stopped , Tuesday, February 20, 2007 9:05 PM

HAPPY VANLENTINES DAY!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BRO!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U!

okies..its VANlentines day!! so its my day!! lolx! sianx! its fun collecting prezzies..but den i collect & nvr give cus i nvr prepare anything!! so paiseh can! haiix..nw i have to gt LOTS of ppl things..omg! i think i gg to b broke manx!

gt lots of chocolate & stuff frm ppl manx! thanx so much! den chatted wif huixian & sm during geog lesson s usual..wahahax! den MT lesson..toking crap wf sm agn..den recess..wahahax! helped the A**** to dedicate song to jane..wahahax! sperb fun & funny lah! den darling met him agn..lolx! i feel tt he's totally er xing can! wah piang..mayb he's sick? lolx! he noes my name!! *argh!* disgusting!!

lessons..BORING..my 1st time doing my work in f&n lesson manx! hahax! was slping during assembly can! too tired liao..den neelam keep on disturbing me until i gave up on slping..den darling & i disturb neelam..wahahax! den we crapped..den went to look for jane aft assembly LOTS of things happened manx! wahahx! den went back to class for EL remedial..but i was nt paying attention at all..goro & neelam keep disturbing me..lolx! den went to look for ming den we waited for li-li in the canteen..doing my piano h/w..& my bks r stained wif teck liang's saliva & chocolate!! *argh!* hope my bks dun kena attacked by ANTS! den waited for so long can! i was superb late for my piano lesson..hahax!

so sadded sia..actually i brot some chocolates de..i gave some & ended up eating some..lolx! wahahax! siao-siao! im like putting on weight like nobody's business lidat..lolx!

sadded..
didnt see you today..excpet at that time..
just feeling horrible knowing that you are not around..
thought of giving you something..
but you are just not there..
haiix..what a day..
just hopping tt you will be mine 1 day..
praying hard & waiting for that day..
im just putting on a strong front..
happy valentines day..
imissyouso..

i stopped , Wednesday, February 14, 2007 8:44 PM

ZzZzZzZz...im like so lack of SLP!!

so dam tired during lessons..but oways try to keep awake..den today lessons..s usual..BORING..SS..wah..superb boring..her lessons r oways boring lah..den she gave us worksheet to do..i anihw do cus i was superb slpy & canot concentrate at all..den do until fell aslp..den jt kicked my table..lolx! den she asked ppl to read..den she jus said next..i didnt noe she was refering to me until neelam called me den tell me to read..& i still showed tt blur face can! den i looked at her..she was looking at me..den jt oso ask me to read..den i jus read loh..lolx! i think i still have nt wake up at tt time..lolx! den MT went to hall for lecture..lolx! den i was slping lah! lolx! den darling rmbred tt i have nt ans. her qns. yet..lolx! den she keep asking me to tell her!! & i told her liao loh..she jus dun believe me lah! lolx!

aft skool, opened the band store jus to put bag & tot tt ppl will come in to prac..lolx! den i went to canteen..den went back to open door for trumpet section..den went back to canteen..den ming was there all the while but i nvr c her..lolx! den we ate wif jane..toked to em in a serious tone..abt wat mf toked to me abt ytd..den during sectionals helped em wif their solos..lolx! den they still bully me!! its like nt meant to b planned for me can! im like creating chance for my dearest juniors can! *sadded*im still trying to do ribrato..lolx! its tough..mine sounds real fake lah! still practicing..cus in case im nided*CHOY!*..anw the solists nid to learn oso..mf wants some parts to b ribrato-ed..lolx!

aft sectionals..sat in the band rm to slack! wahahax! my profession! lolx! den looked at the atendance for sectionals..den continued to prac while waiting for the percussion ppl to cum back frm the speech day rehearsal..den i kept the flute tt ming was using, my flute & picc..i help her keep leh..a hard to come by chance manx! wahahax! i polished it too! nw it looked so much better & shiny! all my hard work..hahax! i was cleaning & polishing while ming, li-li & brid were playing & crapping loh..im jus so hard working manx! & planned to have reunion lunch wif brid, li-li, ming, jane & shi hui on sat! wahahx! aft tt we go shopping!! den in the nite have reunion dinner wif family..cool!

tmr is VALENTINES DAY!! lolx! y mus there b this day? & i have nt buy anything to give ppl yet..this yr i dun1 to only collect loh..den i nvr give..this yr if i collect, i have to give back too! & im like still wanting to buy things can! have yet to gt my shoes & bag! & tmr is my bro's birthday..wahahx! so cool manx! his birthday is on valentine's day!! wahahax!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!! enjoy ur day wif ur love ones yah? while im gg to enjoy my day wif music, music & more music! my piano theory is ard the corner..3 more lessons left..& im so dead!

im feeling lost without u..
life jus sux without u by my side..
trust me..it does..
and u r the only person who can put a smile on my face..
i shall wish upon a falling star tt u will stay by my side 1 day..
happy valentine's day to YOU..

i stopped , Tuesday, February 13, 2007 9:18 PM

wah..so slack today..LOTS of tchers nv cum today..den we all slack..wahahax! this is my kind of life manx! lolx! den aft reading period..almost kena depression manx! lolx! kena bullied by jt, goro & neelam until almost go crazy..

aft skool..went to open the door for sectionals..today i in-charge..lolx! 4 ppl cum only..i in-charge, bt i nvr prac..i tok & watch ppl prac..lolx! *proud to b a slacker!* den mei zhen & mei eng told me their story..lolx! very nice to hear lah! & didnt expect em to be lidat lah! aiyoh..wahahax! den i was left alone in the band store while waiting for ppl to cum back to keep their instru..den waited for ming..she crapper sia..b4 her remedial, she came dwn to look for me..den WE started crapping..lolx! cus of her..im in a fixed! lolx! & this is the 1st time i went hm tgt wif my cousin!! lolx!

ytd tuition was postponed..den went to shop for CNY clothes at orchard..so many ppl lah! far east & hereren was paacked manx! nw i leeft to buy my bag & shoe!! i really duno wat to gt manx! pumps or sneakers? cumon manx! i have no idea..

last sat aft band prac went to lao dad's concert!! so cool lah! im sure to join NIE youth band aft my 'O' manx! but den my bro ask me to join his band oso..cus nw very lil ppl..duno y suddenly so many ppl went off..aiyoh..nw im in a fixed! hahax! ming, jane, mz & i had our fun manx! we were enjoying lah! lolx! NIE youth band flute section gt 1 SG!! wahahax! but i think he too much movement when he play..den a lil too fake..den during the interval, we were toking but our past..& its the embarassing side of it manx! lolx! hahax! den aft the concert gt encore..den once agn, the conductor came out..den he did an action den ming was making me laugh like mad lah! lolx! den aft the concert, the flute section went to the stage to give lao dad flowers!! den we looked for suthanee, nelson & yan hwee to give em the flowers too! hahax! den we toked for a while den left for hm le..den the grp of em r gg to amk to eat..so they take train wif me loh..hahax! i tot i was gg to b alone..hahax! lolx!

wanted to go bugis street to buy my bag..hahax! wanted to like ask ming they all to go tmr de! den this mornig ming den tell me she today gg..lolx! if she told me earlier, i confirm go tgt de loh!! always PS me 1..nvm..i can skip it manx! i can survive w/o tt bag! but i still nid to buy shoes/ pumps!! i jus canot find the pumps i want! den i found the shoe tt i want! lolx!

mf called me today..told me tt hendeson band is on par or better than our band!! omg!! okies!! did he like only tell me this or he oso gt tell the majors? i canot do things myself..watever i do i still t=nid their consent..hahax! den we toked bout my section..wah..im real worried! & aft wat he told me, im so gg to force the SOLOIST in my section to practice hard & play well!! & i noe i canot play well & im so n the strong players lah! i dun1 to prac the solos & b sub in case of emergency*CHOY!!*..& im so nt gg to let him have a chance to choose me to play solo although im practicing it wif jane..im so gg to push em like mad manx!

i stopped , Monday, February 12, 2007 11:54 PM

sianx! superb arhx!

spent my day crapping s usual..lolx! crapped a lil wif xian during geog..den crapped LOTS wif sm during MT lesson! wahahax! den recess..crapped wif jeremy, darling & laopa *andy ! lolx! den f&n..tt tcher..-argh!- luckily today didnt kena at all arhx..i was doing my work during f&n lesson in the com lab can! 1st time i so guai..anw fri gt f&n tez..

aft skool gt EL remedial..every sec 4 have to go lah! lolx! den did summary..sianx! den finished it quick den went to canteen to wait for ming..xin comapnnied me can! so sweet..hahax! den i was rushing my piano h/w while ming was watching me do & we were crapping too! lolx! den li-li came & join us! den i was like super duper late for piano lesson can! den crapped wif my piano tcher..duno y we suddenly tok abt songs..lolx! den i ended up leaving at 6.30? hahax! den at AMK central saw some AMKS concert band ppl..i dun think they recognise or even saw me can! cus i jus walk past em..hahax! saw ling yin & the few ppl tt she's oways wif..hahax!

sat have flag day..12-6pm..but im nt gg..sadded! i gotta go for band prac! yeah! lolx! den aft tt we go to SCH to watch lao dad's concert!! wahahax! gotta buy flowers for those alumni + lao dad manx! hahax!

i jus feel like hitting my head against the wall whenever i step into the band rm..cus i rmbr tt i spelled 'phrasing' wrongly!! den i minus 1 mark!! den i canot gt full marks for the theory tez during the camp!! y didnt i check thru?! nvm..its over le..i oso didnt expect to gt so high anw..

nxt wk..this day..i will b collecting prezzies frm hopefully my section lah! i wanna do smth..but i scard fail..i was asked by ming jus nw abt if im gg to give him anything..& wat will it b..lolx!

im like missing HK & everything manx! i jus dun1 SYF to pass so soon so tt i can spend more time wif my dear band mates! i will b missing em lots manx! i so love em lots can + henderson peps! haiix! but time passes xteremly quickily this days manx! haiix! lets all jiayou!!

im like gg to fall sick & im expecting pizza for my supper!! but my bro sae he tired..den dun feel like calling..lolx! but gd lah..if nt i have to pay cus they no cash..lolx! they making use of me sia..sadded!

im so in love wif ADTS manx!

im like missing u like nobodys business can!
i duno if im supposed to feel lidat..
but..
im really missing u LOTS..

i stopped , Wednesday, February 07, 2007 9:40 PM

im tired!!

back frm camp on sunday..it was qiute slack lah..mayb cus LOTS of ppl culd nt stay overnite for the camp..march camp will sure b tougher..& the sec 1s will b joining us too!

friday:
aft skool rushed hm to gt my stuff..den went back to skool in a camp mood! sectionals wif the sec 1s..but den i was busy wif other things..so nvr touched my instru. at all..den looked thru the camp booklet..my name was nt inside the grps lah! sianx! tt means i gt some things is ic loh..den aft the sec 1s left, we had a combine den dinner..pepper chicken! hahax! den when every1 was showering, the few of us were playing ard cus we r showring only aft lights out..den i left for POA nite class..& i rushed back cus i nid to take at band at abt 8.30..den mr f ask me to go back for POA de..but i dun1..hahax! so we prac the usual pieces..den had a recording..wah..bad manx! den we prac till i think abt 2+am..den we had water parade den..lights out! so the few of us went to shower..jane, ming, li-li, brid & me tot of ton-ing cus we normally canot slp for the 1st nite..but failed sia..we slp a abt 5+am..& have to wake up at 6am..den i was supposed to slp wif my cousin..but i pang seh her..den she slp wif mz in the other bunk..

sat:
5BX..simple 1s..cus we have to go for exchange at GMSS aft tt..hahax! was extremely disappointed in the exchange manx! we played badly to me..& practically aft hearing every skkol tt went for the exchange, they did worse than us lah..den i play set piece solo..play until the last note no breath..jane tried to cover up..but she was way too soft..thanx so much! den siyan oso played wrong notes for her solo..den ADTS..ming broke dwn for her solo..den bar 149, i prac until can memorise liao..den still played LOTS of wrong notes..den ming & i were superb disappointed in ourselves..den we + jane & si yan went to the toilet & cry..lots of ppl came to console us..then suthanee toked to us..tden she said smth which i can nvr forget! she siad: some ppl thinks tt they r gd, so they oways play very loud. wahahax! i think jane & i nid thanx her for saeing tt manx! cus she was there! & aft tt sentence, she jus turned oway! yeah! wahahahax! we cried for quite some time..den we went back the hall for another performance..den we listen to the other bands until we fell aslp cus we were all very tired..hahax! den when we went bak to skool, gt sectionals..den drills! i missed the drills manx! it was so fun lah! but den i had some probs..so i didnt took part..den games! hahax! lina & i were 1 of the station's ic..i tired to blow tt small lil ballon until i pulled my cheeck muscles..-argh!- until nw still pain..dinner out! went to mac for dinner..we da bao! den aft dinner was shower time agn..den we intended to shower aft lighs out agn..den i was lying on the table in the canteen slping! cool! i was superb tired! den woke up & went to gt my work cus its study time! lolx! i was studying the theory tez thingy lah! hahax! den we went to the band rm for video..den b4 tt mu, jason & i were outside toking..den when we went in, i jus sat dwn, den my name was called lah! lolx! i was blur abt wats happening..den i was given chocolates! wahahax! den i asked ard..den i noe its for the bandsmen thingy..most of em were flautist! hahax! jane, ming & i gt it..den we watched our concert video..hahax! GREAT!!! they made it specially for us lah..hahax! so touched..but den if we want the video, we have to pass mr p a dvd den he burn..den theres this last part specially made..hahax! very funny sia..photos of ppl slping when we were in HK..den oso gt put all the players names! WOW! hahax! den ming they all wanted to watch colonial..but i didnt want to lah! hahax! in the end nvr show..hahax! den we had ice-cream b4 tez..i gt 99 over 100! jus tt 1 spelling mistake! omg! -argh!- den had combine wif tt pathetic amt of ppl..but den every1 were superb tired & eyes were closing..so mr f was like nt happy..den he let us go to slp aft water parade..

sun:
woke up at 7..den 5BX..den ran 1.2km..lolx! den breakfast! bread wif ice-cream! wahahax! cool! den it was area cleaning..im supposed it b in-charged..but den i was in the canteen eating ice-cream! wahahax! i ate half tub can! hahax! den i went to walk ard to check if they were claening anot..gave em clues..hahax! den i was stuck in the band rm..helping mr faizal to cunt the marks of the tez..tts when i peeped at my results..hahax! den aft spring cleaning it was debrief..den b4 debrief..while waiting for ppl to come dwn, suthanee & gang were so high! they were filmming: yuying concert band augklung lolx! hahax! den had a debrief den hm sweet hm..
but i went to both my grands huse..slept there too! wahahax! was superb tired..

today! sianx! still s tired..den omost slp in class..hahax! jt was nt in skool cus of some reason..sry to hear abt it.. den had secionals..aft sectionals..meeting..den sat in the canteen eating & toking wif ming & li-li..hahax! den went hm le.. (=

you are always in my mind..
in my thoughts..
i just miss you so much..
i ~~hate~~ you...

i stopped , Tuesday, February 06, 2007 6:28 PM

im worried..jus worried.. =/

lessons were boring s usual today..den EL watched some jap movie..watched wif some difficulties..in terms of the person in frnt of me canot keep still while watching..-argh!- & the pics were dark..so i gave up & slp..lolx! hahax! den tcher woke me up when she paused the show to sae smth..lolx! den i heard frm ppl tt she said i look like 1 of the gal in the movie..lolx! jap ppl r normally cute & pretty..but im jus FAT! hahax! chem was so-so loh..mixed up wif a lil stuff..den only did a few experimens..den MT gt test..sianx!

band..haiix..i took the band for fall in can! & i said smth wrongly & sirs were present! omg! den they showed me this face..lolx! hahax! so pai seh sia..den i was busy doing jane's SL job cus she nt ard..i oso doing my stuff..hahax! busy sia..den i played w/o warming up..& its tough to play w/o warming up..lolx! den i played the solo..den sir sae the soloist nid to learn to ribrato ( dun hw to spell) ..lolx! i tried b4..but i still canot gt it..

aft band on the way hm..let smth slip out of my mouth..-argh!- omg! nw ming's gg cum aft me for this manx! hahax! den kena forced by her to give her a lil clue..lolx! hahax! camp tt time sure kena force to tok heart to heart de..its wat we usually do during camps..hahax! & we crapped & toked some er xing stuff..hahax! =P

im dead for the camp...i was told i nid to take the band for fall in & report strength & all tt on the 2nd day! omg! -argh!- im bound to sae the wrong thing agn despite many reminders..im a failure..anw..y do i have to do all this? im jus a secretary..& if the majors r nt ard or busy den i take mah..lidat only..so y do i have to do it for the camp? lolx! im so dead..help~im jus so suay can! my WHOLE body is aching like nobody's business lidat..-argh!- haiix!

im trying nt to think..
but it tough..
i really wished u noe my feelings for u..
im confused wif my feelings tt im starting to doubt em..
will u jus stay by my side forever?
E.T [allien]

i stopped , Thursday, February 01, 2007 10:18 PM