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but you can't have a rainbow ,



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wat is life becoming into?!

some ppl are jus walking into their own grave. im sure they knew wat will the consequences be. but they still continued. den when they gt scoldings, they would make a hell load of noise & gt angry. wats the point doing all this? i jus dun understand. its jus childish.

烦恼！recently i feel tt they are frm band & MT "O"s. i seriously duno wats gg on & wats gg on in their HEAD! omg! it is cus of exams results? pls lah, u wanna compare wif me? seriously speaking, i dun think tt conversation was jus a misunderstanding. u have changed. & actually nt only u..LOTS of them. FAKE FAKE FAKE! & there was once ming told me tt she saw all sec 3 band peps outside the hall duno doing wat. den i was like huh?! i tot they had a forum gg on? hw an they leave? dun want to participate in the forum & wanna slack oso canot do tt wat. den jane & brid told me the whole story. i was nt really happy abt it. i was dam dam disappointed.

MT "O"s is jus 2 days away. its killer. im aiming for A2, but i doubt i can do it cus my prelim i gt c5. really disappointing. but hack! im so gg to work hard for tt A2. & jus for tt, i read chinese bks mayb 1hr+? hahax! normally i rather kill myself than to read chinese bks. hahax! & my bro told me: aim for the tree, fall on the ground. aim for the sky, fall on the tree.

anw. went to amk hub for dinner & a lil shopping. & my mood was totally lost aft i went to this particular shop. i brot my band windbreaker out cus i nid to buy a button. half of it fell out. den i went to this dam old shop which sells beads. this type of shop sure gt sell buttons 1 mah. den i asked a man if he had this kind of button. but the button he took out was nt really similar to mine. & this was part of our conversation.
he:u have to buy the whole box & u nid the special pliars to do it.
i: orh..okies..but i jus nid 1 cus its jus half of it which drop off. (showing him)
he: but this button is nt necessary right? nt sae nid to use right? (walking back to the counter)
i thinking in my heart: if its nt necessary, do i nid to come all the way jus to buy the button?! if its nt necessary i would nt even want to step out of my huse & come to ur lousy old dam freaking shop!
i really almost sae tt in front of his face can! i was so pissed off! is this the way u do business? wat kind of attitude is this? its nt like if u give me wat i want i wont pay cus its jus a small thing & doesnt cost much. & i was having a lil mood swing. so i flared at my maid & mum at dinner. so sry! i didnt meant to. my day was spoilt thanx to tt dam freaking attiude prob man!
aft dinner i cooled dwn lots & went shopping wif my bro, maid & mum! saw a very nice wallet for men but it cost $99! its real nice! cus my bro wants to buy a wallet, so i asked for the price, den i told him tt if i were to buy tt wallet, i will kill myself! hahax! den he was like aiyah..save loh..hahax! bot 2 clips! wahahax! hahax! & my mum bot 5 of my fav. doughnuts! felt satisfied for the day! hahax!

think of many things today while reading & watching tv. tot of hw to give my dearest oboe junior a huge bday surprise during the chalet! hahax! i think it will b the best bday he have gt manx! wahahax! but i dun think i will gt to enjoy the chalet. gt lessons on the 2nd & last day of the chalet! so can only go aft my lessons & go hm in the nite. sianx! i doubt i will b having any holiday for this month.

my janeteo scolded me tt day..dam sadded! jus cus i slept during MT intensive lessons. thanx! cus aft tt i didnt slp during intensive lessons anymore. i looked like im paying attention, but my mind is partially off! =P

my past few days had been CRAPPY! keep on kena-ing frm my family members cus i keep on slping. lolx! i really feel tt slping helps to relief stress frm everything! when i slp, i nid nt listen to their crap! they jus duno hw diff is the present frm their time can! its really dam stressful studying. but they jus dun understand! wat's heir prob wif me resting?! im nt a robot which can work for 27/7 non stop!

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i stopped , Friday, May 25, 2007 3:58 PM


the day is NXT MONDAY.
MT 'O's.
the day when i meet my DOOM!
so its all MT intensive frm last wk.
its a killer! making me go bongkers!
but to try to achieve tt A2..i will STRIVE!

ha! jus too busy wif MT intensive lessons. i still owe my tcher 3 sets of test papers! omg! duno if i can rush to the chalet aft the MT 'O's. dun even noe if still gt mood to celebrate. *ARGH!*

sat!
went to do CIP for 6 full hrs! omg! it was FUN! grp wif kenneth, mu, ming & JS. sold flags at lots of places. hahax! at 1st dam pai seh to go ard asking for donations. but jus try loh. 1st time ask den kena rejected! haix! felt so hopeless at tt time. so hack care & continue to sell flags! 1st stop was J8. ppl there quite nice. mostly donated. den was sick of tt place alr. so left for orchard & walked all the way to heeren. all the way to heeren, no1 wanted to donate at all lah! its like downtown or smth lidat, so ppl shld have $ to donate. so dun care. rested at heeren den went shopping there. even asked li-li to cum dwn cus we needed to buy some stuff. hahax! den mu & kenneth PS us & went to continue their job at PS. so we went to find them. ther tins were heavy, while mine was pathetic! omg! den dun care. we were all DRAINED! so went to LJS to have lunch b4 heading back to return the tins. den went back hm. aft tt went out to eat pizza!
gosh! hope i dun gt fat! had lots of cheezey stuff tt nite.

sunday.
tuition aft SO dam long! oso didnt felt like having tuition. was jus superb tired tt day or rather every sunday. hax! den my tutor sae tt i seemed to b tired for every tuition. pls lah. u tell me hu enjoys tuition? anw. aft tried to do my MT test paper. but failed! no mood to do anything but to slp!

monday.
had all the nonsense! MT intensive. den supposed to b having normal lessons. ended up having to watch some movie which i dun understand. supposed to b for te motivational tok. but the speaker culd nt make it. *YEAH!* she's jus a lousy motivator which is trying to watse our time by toking crap! only noe how to tok abt her life story. sae once nt enough. mus repeat for the entire session. crazy. i dun think want to waste $ on somebody which tok nth bu crap. instead of feeling motivated, i think i feel more stressed. ha!

today.
paper checking in the hall. the whole skool. i was like watever cus i noe i sure fail all. den surprised to pass F&N & physics! i really did dam bad for prelim 1. fail abt 4 subs. mainly combine humans, maths, combine sci (i think) & POA.
expected all to fail. hahax! maths & POA is oways fail 1. combine humans. hmm..i duno wat had happened!! cmbine sci. chem pulled me all the way dwn! o well. i still have prelim 2 & 'O's to go. jus have to work hard frm nw onwards! aft skool crapped wif jane & ming. & i sort of understand who r my friends. tot abt it while waiting for to check the nxt paper.

anw. gg to have a band camp. sec 4s & 5s were asked to go too! wahahax! im sure gg to have a "great" time wif my parents. hahax! really looking forward to the activities!

& my family nvr fails to spoil my day! "thanx" alot!


i stopped , Tuesday, May 22, 2007 7:29 PM

im back! thanx pepz!

IM BACK!! & PRELIM 1 OVER!!

i tot i shld b happy abt it. but CL 'O's is jus ard the corner. & my aim is to try to achieve A2 lah can. & nw the skool is like chiong-ing for it lah! we have MT lessons frm the start of skool till recess & its abt 2++hrs! aft skool still gt MT remedial! EVERYDAY!! we r put in the basement which the air-con makes me wanna slp. its like so intensive lah! but if its for the A2, i think its worth! ha!

EXAMS! omg! i think i have screwed all subs myself inside out & outside in! if this is wat im gg to gt during 'O's, im have to b prepared to stay by "popular demand" like wat mr f. is cursing me abt! *ARGH!!* NO WAY MANX! i feel tt i shld mian bi si guo. gotta sort out my tots..hax!

ytd went to amk hub wif ming! ha! all the nonsense! fancy her buying $6 worth of finger food! hahax! the minced meat noodles outside amk hub is jus YUMMY!! hahax! [im like advertising food..hahax!] we walked the whole building. & went crazy while touring the building. crapping all the way. den mu called! b4 tt he was he 1 hu sae tt he gt datting & canot cum loh! den in the end still cum & find us! if im nt wrong, this was a lil of their conversation..

ming: mu! u better cum here right nw or i will squeeze out all ur milk!
mu: i go pig farm to find u & banana plantation to look for vaneh!
ming & i: we go cow farm to look for u & squeeze out all ur milk!

& we were saying all this crap while we were at a shop which sells hair clips & others..den she was trying the clips! she took 1 dam huge clip to clip her fringe can! dam hilarious! den tt mu came! den we were still carpping all the way as we walk & mu doesnt understand..den we went food court to pei mu eat..den he pei-ed us eat ba chor mee!! so i had 2 bowls to tt for the day! so cool!

friday went for some "mindchamp" tok..so-so loh. being forced by my parents to go de. they still want to sign me up for their class to help in my memory! lolx! i think i might need tt help. hahax! with this atrocious memory of mine..only 1 word....HAIIX!

anw..wanna sae thanx to all those who have pei-ed me study thru out the prelim times & ppl who have pei-ed me go out! & ppl who have pei-ed me high & watsoever!!
THANK U!!!


there can be miracles
when u believe..
no one knows what miracles
u can achieve..


i stopped , Wednesday, May 16, 2007 8:50 PM


*COUGH!!*
im sort of having a lil stomach muscles are aching due to the coughings!! *ARGH!!* i have been like coughing for at least a wk! nvr coughed for tt long b4 manx! its either the cough syrup is nt effective or tt i drank a lil too much water aft taking the cough syrup & i have been taking things tt i shld avoid!! wahahax! want to tok den end up coughing. lolx!

today lessons were dam boring. KILLERS! geog was fine. den MT. enjoyed lah! shimin & i were like almost dead. den i started toking to her abt songs. CHINESE SONGS. so its still kind of related to the subject. lolx! den i said i like a certain song frm stefanie sun's new abulm. so i sort of hum the music to her, but i ended up humming another song of her other abulm! lolx! we were laughing like hell den tcher separated us, but we still ended up toking! hahax! cool! hahax!
den F&N. the guys turn to cook! so the gals & some other ppl stayed in class. supposed to do some worksheet, but tcher let us watch movie in class! *YEAH!* den assembly gt some tok. den aft skool gt EL remedial. no POA xtra lesson cus tcher nt well. so xin, crystal & i stayed in the canteen to tok & eat. den went off wif lili & ming to piano. didnt expect my piano tcher to let me off cus i didnt prac piano. theory was done on the previous lesson. luckily she understands tt im nt taking practical this yr & im having 'O's.

tt ming!! TOTAL DESTROYER!! she spoiled my water bottle & tore my textbk cover!! MONSTER!! hahax! we play until my bottle dropped on the road! *HURMP!*

i think my parents dun really uderstand themselves & even ME! i think i very important thing is tt IM A HUMAN TOO!! i nid to have rests too! & stop forcing me to study!! if i no mood to study, no matter hw much u force i oso wont study! i will only pretend to b studying!!

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i stopped , Wednesday, May 02, 2007 10:11 PM