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but you can't have a rainbow ,



without any rain;

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Designer: ongsiying xo

I'm so sorry!

im feeling guilty! i gave someone who apparently is allergic to panadol (normal), but she doesn't know, and she got rashes! im feeling so bad, like i indirectly caused her allergy to react. arrrrrr! im so sorry! i love you, but only for today. =)

and im so darn tired. i have no idea why too. and i was trying my best to stay awake and concentrate during meeting, sectional and practice.
freaking tired. everything seemed to be draining me out completely.

i found my answer to my own question.
everything's getting on my nerves and im tired.
maybe it's time i pamper myself for awhile.


i stopped , Tuesday, March 31, 2009 11:52 PM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY HENG HUI YU!

i wanted to blog about something, but i just cannot remember now.

LFM is always complaining about the high fee for my entertainment. its so kind of me to entertain her and yet she's asking me for a package! like auntie seh.


i wished i could be of some help.


i stopped , Monday, March 30, 2009 10:16 PM


I'm so sorry.

yesterday.
wanted to head to school in the afternoon for speech day, but i changed my mind. the weather was seriously freaking hot. so i decided to stay in.
im so sorry guys! it was kind of unexpected that i didnt turn up right? LOL. and my world doesnt revolves around band okie. so im not a band geek.
and so i made a promise, to be there next speech day to meet you guys.

i think i have made my decision.


i stopped , Saturday, March 28, 2009 12:25 AM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE MOHLI!

two important things i want to say today:
- Jaron Tay called me "sweet girl" (literally sweet, the one you eat), cus i gave him sweets to keep him awake. LOL.
- BLWG winked at me again!


unhappy, disappointed, stressed, irritated and demoralized.


maybe you need to know the definition of "team/department".


i stopped , Thursday, March 26, 2009 11:24 PM


BBF is my new love.

yesterday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEREMY LAI!
cancelled all my plans to stay at home. slacked and rot, whatever. all thanks to my mum. cus she said im hardly at home and she only sees me when im in bed. so sorry, guys!
i spent my day watching BBF. finally caught up with the episode screen on tv. wahahahha~ and LFM is trying to catch up with me. heh~ but i think i will be stopping BBF for now, cus i wanna watch full house. wait till they upload more episodes and LFM to catch up then i shall carry on watching. till then full house!

today.
let's see what will happen.


i stopped , 1:14 AM


HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY RACHEL TAN!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAZSICA MUMMIE!


yesterday.
as usual. i was late, but i tried my very best to reach asap. must be understanding okie, kids? LOL. sectional-ed with the flutes, but not all were present. so just worked with whoever who was there. was there for just awhile then headed back home with rachel, tianfu and egan. piang! all auntie type although 2 are guys. lol.

im in a fix. im asked to think if i wanna take exam. 3 months. i dont think it will be enough for me to chiong cus im really fk-ing busy nowadays to practice. but looking at last year, i got a merit even just by chionging. so im still thinking about it and i have not practice. but i dont want to take it next year either. i have planned and plans, but none seemed to be working out. arghh!

today.
im a happy girl! all thanks to nurul.s's stuts! heh heh heh~ its quite tough changing to open hole flute.


i stopped , Tuesday, March 24, 2009 12:17 AM


WOOOTS!

BLWG winked at me again today. LOL. anyway looking at his blog, i saw a damn funny picture of me taken during camp. and i didnt know that he took that picture! omg. but nevermind. im used to unglam-ness. LOL. and i still remember that "london choco roll" song! -.-

it was indeed boring, yet interesting. it was mostly in chinese (with a bit of english and canto here and there). the way they speak damn funny. and they just clap their hands after praising people or things that they have done well. damn funny. practically the representatives for alumni band (the 5 of us) just kept quiet all the way, but we talked among ourselves. lol. luckily LFM was there to keep me company, but i was "um chio-ing" while reading those messages.



its your decision and choice.
think what you want.
afterall, i dont really care cus im still me.


*entertainment will still be charged by the hour*


i stopped , Friday, March 20, 2009 11:34 PM


i would, if i could.

i got something important to say.
BLWG winked at me more than 10 times today!

went to deyi for exchange with them. i did something wrong today, so all the blame was put on me for the rest of the day. -.-
gossiped loads while they were having band practice. irritated with hell load of things, but the stars brightened my mood just that bit.

its really very tiring to have so many problems to care for. im really tired. very tired. im sorry if im carrying whatever kind of attitude, but you really need to be in my shoes to understand me.

sleepless nights.
fking unfair, fking bias. totally.


i stopped , Wednesday, March 18, 2009 11:21 PM


we have all changed, true enough?

food poisoning or what now? woke up with a freaking bad stomach. my mum kept saying its cus of my irregular meals when my dad and bro had the runs too. -.-
stayed at home the whole day. slacking and rotting thanks to the camp "hang over", bad stomach and rain. i fell asleep just after waking up for about an hour and a half. best.


yes, put the blame on me. i was the one who hurt you, it was never your fault. lies and stuff, were all from me. really a different you, and also me.
a lie is enough to distance us and there goes "trust" too.


i stopped , Monday, March 16, 2009 10:22 PM


10mins of sleep can't last you the whole day.

woohoo! i "stole" the school's internet access! i went around the school last night looking for a place with cable and that we can all have some sleep, but none was found till now!
we should have taken the eagle's nest room earlier! there's air-con, internet access and space to sleep! the teachers cheated the alumni. we made ourselves as comfy as we could in the canteen. -.-

i have learnt to be smarter. i will try not to ton the night when the next day is filled with activities! damn freaking tiring, but i survived by having an hour of sleep after i reach back to school.
at least i do not have to sleep in the freezing cold and hard benches in the canteen. LOL.


i stopped , Sunday, March 15, 2009 1:15 AM


yet another day.

i have been really sick and tired of everything these days.

despite all these fk-ing crap,
im still me.
i am who i am.
never who you want me to be.


i stopped , Wednesday, March 11, 2009 11:44 PM


to my beloved juniors,

im so sorry for not going down on monday to help you all with sectionals. i was stuck at home thanks to the heavy rain. trust me, im feeling very guilty cus i called you guys down but ended up i never turn up. make you guys make a wasted trip and hope you all still had sectionals.
im so sorry! i will make up to you all! but please continue to work hard!

LOVES!

*hope you guys get to see this post*


i stopped , 12:57 AM


do i look like a give a damn?

ha! what a joke.


i stopped , Tuesday, March 10, 2009 11:50 PM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY VARIAN ANG MING JIE!

DPDP.
take it in any way and think whatever you want. that's the problem in communication - misunderstandings.
i guess in life, its all about choices/decision. its either you made the right move or the wrong move. there might be times where you are allowed to sit on the fence, but things wont move.
and i guess i made my choice. and i dont care if its a good or bad one.

be a driver and make the decision instead of being the passenger who follows.


positive or negative effect? its solely up to you.


i stopped , Sunday, March 08, 2009 11:43 PM


sunday; yet another day.

okie. it was PMS or that im just too tired (literally tired). im sorry for everything.

i regretted not bringing theory book today. i was on the piano for the whole lesson. but okie lah. at least im spending time practicing. and best thing. i overslept for 2 hours and was late for 1 hour for piano. LOL.

im sorry, but my mood is really not there. the urge to quit is back. it all seems different now.
what's life? a thing filled with many problems.

many thanks to the OLD FAT CAT! =)

Labels:



i stopped , 12:06 AM


the last thing i ever want.

arrrrrrr.. im not feeling well. its my stomach and i hope its not stomach flu nor gastric flu. what "nice" timing.
was busy with workshops during the past 2 days. it ended early for both days so slacked in school with old fat cat and hui ci. we kept wanting to catch a movie after the workshop but we kept changing plans thanks to someone. lol. but we entertained ourselves by watching videos online. heh!

band yesterday. first time seeing the band so big. freaking loads of guest players. omg. but okie lah. managed to survive despite not feeling well. but as usual. no motivation cus no HAMSOME guys. i need motivation to go for band practice! im left with me and my tang rong.. LOL.

if im well enough, i will go down.
and i finally understood what you meant.


i stopped , Friday, March 06, 2009 12:24 AM


knock some sense.

arghh! my shoulder blade is giving me hell today. it stuck salonpas on my shoulder last night and today the problem went to my shoulder blade. hope the salonpas is effective or i will have to use my left hand for the time being. SALONPAS.
*random*
minority report rocks! its so cool, but abit confusing. lol.


i want to spend more time at home. i guess just rotting will make me happy.
i want to sleep till im happy. im not having enough sleep.
i want to get some peace. im living in a messed up world.
i want to spend time on piano. i want to pass my grade.
i want to my parents to forbid me to attend practices. i dont want to go for practices.
i want to travel around the world. i just love travelling but hate packing.
i want to be alone. i want time for my own where i can pull myself together with no disturbance.
i want to tell you "leave me alone". i dont need people to tell me what to do.
i want to ...
*it just carries on...*


im losing it. im tired. i think i need a break.


i stopped , Sunday, March 01, 2009 11:10 PM