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but you can't have a rainbow ,



without any rain;

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDPA!

went to my grandparent's house and sleep, but could not sleep as more people came. quite a lot of people came. and my cousin brought a friend from France along. HOT MAN! heard that he came for attachment and leaving tomorrow. okie. whatever.
during dinner, my auntie asked my granduncle to join our family for gathering on new year's eve. then my granduncle asked what's the purpose and the rest of my aunties said for count down.

granduncle: go to your house to count from 10 to 1 then go home? crazy.
aunties: yah. and also for dinner.
granduncle: crazy arh. ask me go over just to count 10 to 1 then go home, so short. at least start from 100 lah.
aunties and dad: if you think the time is too short, you want also can count from 1000.

damn hilarious lah! i was laughing and eating. there were other lame things that they talked about too. didnt expect my granduncle to be so funny!

i think being committed on both sides is really freaking tiring. can i give up one?
i just cant wait for my korea trip. that's where i can really relax i hopeless.

oh yah! i might not go back on tuesday. i think if i skip two practices in a week, i will get killed. but im still considering!


i stopped , Sunday, November 30, 2008 9:12 PM


HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, NICOLE!

too little time, too many things to complete.
so many problems, freaking bad headache.
*its not that your playing was bad, it just felt weird to me and felt like you were rushing. no offence yah? you really did well. thanks!

is it just me or that the world and everyone is changing. things wasnt the same as before. (okie, like ever since a long time.) haix.. leaping through time wont help i guess.

im feeling so vexed.

random: anyone want to join me for musical, cats?


maybe you are right. am i happy now?

不要等一切的事都发生后,
再来后悔。

to anonymous, thanks for the apple. =)


i stopped , 12:03 AM


something is amiss.

i wasnt feel that good for the past two days. i think it might be stomach flu. the symptoms are roughly the same and i noticed that every year i sure kena stomach flu once. i seriously didnt have any appetite for food at all. i was freaking hungry and after i bought my food, i dont feel like eating it. and had th runs. 5 times in a day. well done.
im not feeling well and it affects my brain. my brain is also not working properly. i forgotten the most important thing: MODULE SELECTION.
it closed at 5pm yesterday, but i only remembered when it was 5.10pm? and i missed the time to submit RJ too. crap. -.-

this week is going to be a busy week. well done.
monday: meeting
tuesday: band
wednesday: maybe to mustafa/buy things
thursday: flame awards
friday: band
saturday: stock taking & alumni band practice
sunday: grandpa's birthday

oh yah! this one must say! syu is so sweet today. she bought an apple for me and had it sent to my class with a little note! but the apple was sort of spoilt on one side, slightly. i ate the apple on the way to band! but apparently, i do not really like apples. opps! but i appreciated it loads! THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE APPLE, MY DEAR!
and thank you for listening to me. =)

i think my guess is wrong. oh well. as what manager had told me, that day will come. i shall wait. i must have patience. =)


i stopped , Wednesday, November 26, 2008 12:11 AM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIKINEESH!

thursday.
okie. my cheeks swell slightly all thanks to weng guan! pinch until like that! make my flute tone sound funny on thursday during practice! and it is damn freaking pain until now! and thanks so much for the ballon and care bear! i cannot believe i actually tied the ballon on my wrist like a little child, even in the train!

friday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALICIA!

was laptop-less during meeting three and was trying my best to keep awake. thanks neelam for going to IT help desk with me and my friend and also entertaining me during meeting three. we all waited like damn long and ended up only collecting it after school ends. oh yah! neelam told me something interesting about the summer camp in america. I WANT TO GO! i think its around 3 to 4 months. but i will survive! im independent! i shall look into it next year or something.
then went for T'ang Quartet concert. i was looking at their fingers. looks like they are trying to kill millions of ants running here and there. and i suddenly feel like learning string instrument! okie. its a thinking process. im thinking, but its not processing. lol.

piano lesson tomorrow! crap. theory not done, piece not practiced. i dont feel like going tomorrow. i got more important things to do. im feeling stressed. just two more practices and eveything must be done properly. what if i screw things up on the actual day? im afraid. i dont know what to concentrate on and the whole night is too much since we all know the piece. i want to stay at home to memorise score tomorrow.. tomorrow is all mine. arghhhhhh! i still got doubts at certain parts!

okie. being random here. I LOVE CHRISTMAS! especially the songs! fooooh! im going to celebrate a white christmas this year!

i have a guess, but im not sure if im right.

to anonymous, i guess i give up trying to ask around who you (all) are. just want to say: whoever you(all) are, thank you so much once again. so sweet of you(all). i shall not ask around anymore. it just comes to no avail, so no point asking. i shall just be patient and wait for that time to come. =)


i stopped , Saturday, November 22, 2008 12:01 AM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY QIAO WEI!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIAN TING!

thanks so much for all the wishes my lovelies!
thanks so much for the cakes!
thanks so much for the presents!
thanks so much for the birthday songs!
thanks so much for everything!

my special day started with a birthday song from W47K. so sweet of them! then all the messages from 0000hrs till now. was replying the messages in class. stayed in class for both breaks. then during second break, an unknown guy came into our class looking for me with flowers and a card. STUNT. like seriously. my first time receiving flowers for birthday. and the card was redundant. there wasnt anything in it except "anonymous". so i dont know who sent the flowers. but the kuku thing that chelsea they all told me damn funny. it kept me thinking man! but oh well. sweet~ but still many thanks to that person, whoever you are! then went off with joanna and rui fang! they say i looked like im going to get married. -.-
and i carried the flowers all the way to yuying. many people kept looking at me lah! and the irritating sercurty gurad also disturbed me! -.-

was pet society-ing in class once again. slacked the whole day. many shocking things happened these days. my heart almost stopped. LOL. all the surprises and stuff. but thanks so much once again! I LOVE YOU ALL! =)


i stopped , Wednesday, November 19, 2008 11:51 PM






i stopped , 12:00 AM


just a few more hours.

cant believe that i actually proposed the idea to cab to school from woodlands mrt station just because we are running late. whatever.
UT was fine i guess. can pass that kind can already. but i guess im going to work hard already. if not GPA will be in deep shit.
after that zhao class! i didnt pon, i merely zhao class. and my whole team left. well done. so sweet of chelsea, felicia and "meh" to go to cold storage to get sweets with me! thanks people! then headed down to yishun to visit the little ones. foooh! believe it or not! i could go to the highest C on their piccolo! first time doing such things on a piccolo. okie. i was supposed to check if it fine, but i didnt try every note. i assume it is fine since she didnt complain that there's any problem. kids ar kids. as noisy as usual. but had hell load of fun with them. ha! anyway. kids, if im free and able to find my way to suntec, i will go down yah? or i will just stick to my television till you guys appear on television. no worries!
went home freaking early! like 6pm? then thought of jogging, but i went to sleep instead. classic. ha!

dont feel like going online. i have to make my banner, right syu? lol. i told syu im going to make a banner to welcome 17. so i will have to finish it and sleep before 2359 so that i would get the surprise on the next morning. LOL. lame. i was just being random at that point of time. of cus i wont do it. like duh~


我的心事。。
你会听吗?


i stopped , Tuesday, November 18, 2008 8:36 PM


last day of being 16.

so sweet of W47K to get the november babies a birthday present. and im included! didnt expect any of that. like seriously. they got each of us a bear from build a bear workshop. i wanted to postpone the birthday song to the actual so i can enjoy being 16 for the last few hours, but they are evil! they didnt allow. but i still love them so! =D
rushed for band practice. i think my sight reading improved by that bit. just that bit. and i just threw my image in front of IJC people. apparently they heard me scolding vulgarities. opps!
when i reached home, my two lovely brothers bought me a bag! surprising~ haha! thanks too!

hope i wont have to carry much in my hands tomorrow. might leave early. got somewhere to go!


i stopped , 12:16 AM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELISSA ONG!

a day spent sleeping like a pig.

saturday.
flu! forced myself to get out of bed cus RJ wasnt done yet. finished my RJ before leaving for piano in the afternoon, but didnt submit cus mummy was rushing me.
piano was okie. theory and practical. my teacher keep forcing me to practice my piece. im like stagnant for freaking long.
went for alumni pratice after that. i submitted my RJ using vodafone. freaking lag. and bridget have evil hands! when she wanted to use my laptop, it hanged and the battery went flat. LOL.
having not enough instruments can be quite a huge headache. had to re-shuffle the available working flutes in the cupboard and lent mummie my flute. no flute no picc, i thought i could rest cus im down with flu. but yanming and i ransacked 老爹's boot and found a flute and picc. so i had to play. dont know how he season his flute and picc that well. those days.. bad and good memories. and damn. it was scary. dont know what is happening that we sound like that. myself too. just one week and i lost touched of the piece? it is freaking scary. im stressed.
after practice got a surprise. thanks so much for the cake, song and well wishes! APPRECIATED LOADS! and the rest like azmir and weng guan, stop counting down! im still young!

sunday.
keep sleeping wherever i went. dont know why am i so tired and the flu just wont leave me alone. and i got scolded for sleeping? well done.

nurul syuhadah, i know you are trying your best. keep it up. LOL. and its not about being supportive! its just some other things!

so sweet yet gone.


i stopped , Sunday, November 16, 2008 10:59 PM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY SADIQ!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DENNIS!

enterprise was fine today, but class was even better! W47K never fails to make my day! and damn tired that i slept in class during second break. singying good lah! ask her to wake me up in awhile to help out in the ppt. i ended up waking up on my own at around 2pm! helped with the ppt slightly here and there. and my pm was changed and stuff. cool stuff!
went to amk hub to meet hong zhen, zhen ling. so kind of them to trick me so many times. dinnered at pizza hut then met jeremy and friends at cinema for movie. madagascar 2 was fine. then i specially went to withdraw money to pay them back but they refuse to accept. i got my "校长" one okie! so i will return you guys the next time we meet. anyway, thanks so much! thanks for remembering! LOVE YOU ALL!

i need to improve on my multi-tasking skills. i could not really handle talking on the phone, watching the tv, on msn, facebook and blogging and talking to my family at the same time. killer!
arghhh! might go suntec on 23 november. and i would need a map. i seriously have no idea how to walk there from cityhall. OH MY GOD! i hardly go there and i normally just follow the clique. i kena shoot by mf, my brothers and mummy just because im not sure how to get there.

i seriously didnt know. if i would to know earlier, i would have gone over. im trying to find time, but i might not be of much help though.


i stopped , Friday, November 14, 2008 11:09 PM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIMON LEE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELISSA HO!

school was normal. was playing pet society in class to kill time. i see my gay pet i also sian sia. haha! after school met the rest at student lounge to celebrate simon's brithday. i missed the birthday song cus i was late.
then went for meeting. P.O.S. can i just smack her in the face next time? and make sure no one stops me.
met muzamir and jeremy lai at causeway point to get the pass and key for saturday. im so sorry for making you guys wait so long, summoe tomorrow have school. anyway, just treat it as a training. test your patience cus next time you will have to wait for your girlfriend too! HEH HEH HEH~ (excuses!) then dinnered at mac.

im trying my best and i hope it works.


i stopped , Thursday, November 13, 2008 11:57 PM


i die die also have to post today. cus today is one happy day with little irritations.

but first. im so sorry rangers, especially elle. the dinner i had is sort of a compulsory thingy. i promise i will be there for your next performance!

class was fine~ was laughing most of the time. then went for module selection briefing. i was falling asleep during the briefing as there was nothing much actually. then was back to metaphors. omg.

the best part was after school. rushed to causeway point after school and it was raining cats and dogs. dinnered at seoul garden with the transition publicity team together with gabriel and simon! my first time dinning at soul garden, mountain tortoise right? damn funny and fun! seriously surprised and shocked for the advance "birthday celebration"! thank you all so much! i thought they were celebrating for 大哥, so i was smoked. after dinner, sat outside the mrt station and chatted or gossipped. it was fun, but the thing i got in return was a body reek of oil! i think i might have to bathe twice to get rid of the smell.
okie. in conclusion, kudos to the transition publicity team! we did well! all the hard work put in was paid off! foooh~ cheers! loves!


i stopped , Wednesday, November 12, 2008 10:47 PM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLE LOW YI HAN!


its so typical for RP people to think you are not in school if you didnt go online for the whole day.

im feeling freaking lost and depressed and tired. i didnt even feel like talking to anyone, so i appeared offline for the whole day in class. i tried to put a smile, not wanting to affect other people's mood for the day. there was a smile, a fake smile. it was tough treating it like nothing happened.
should i private my blog? or maybe just dont blog until i pick myself back up?

i complained to mummy about some stuff. she also ask me to stand on my feet and fight back. she told me not to be bullied by others. well done. but i seriously dont know what to do now. not in a mood to fight back or anything at the moment.

hope i dont dampen their mood when i go out with them on friday.


一直以来都没想到事情会变成这样。
这一切都是我一个人自作多情。
我好傻。像个白痴,痴痴的等着。
等到眼泪干了,才会慢慢的觉悟吗?
无论如何,我觉得我还是应该为你开心。
该忘了你,对不对?


i stopped , Monday, November 10, 2008 10:15 PM


freaking tired.

glad that finally one event is over. next up is yuying's concert. hope that would be a breeze.

i cant believe that i woke up at 12+pm just to message my piano teacher that i cannot make it for lesson and went back to sleep. its not that i cannot make it, im just too tired.
celebrated my birthday in advance today. my dad will be overseas on my birthday, so brought celebration forward. surprised. i was eating happily and was bickering or maybe friendly quarrel with my brother then the staff brought a birthday cake over and 3 of the staff started singing with my family! thanks so much, but wasnt in the mood for any sort of celebration today actually. and i was eating gummies at a buffet. well done; waste money. hope i wont be so lazy to post some pictures up next time.

im seriously not in the right mood these days. can i make a birthday wish? i wish i can turn back time. sometimes i seriously wish i have nothing to do with music at all.

it is depressing to be in these crap. i have never felt the sense of belonging in the first place. why have i continued on? i should not and will not blame others for getting myself into this nonsense. im just not that kind of person who would force another into a corner, especially if that person is a senior.
i understand and appreciate the help of you all, but i cannot put myself to do so. serious and i have no idea why. im just feeling fucking bothered, helpless and useless now. this sucks.

thanks for everything. i think i just need to find myself back.


i stopped , Sunday, November 09, 2008 11:37 PM


today is the day! wish me luck!


yesterday.
enterprise. okie lah. then i was freaking pissed. but when doing panels, my mood relieved quite a bit. and i learnt something new! damn. im not as innoncent as you all think okie. i just wasnt taught that by people around me. LOL.

and im seriously loving some people around me! they wished me luck for the concert and they show concern when i was pissed. even if some of them are not going for the concert, but 有心就好! i love them still! thank you all so much!


i stopped , Saturday, November 08, 2008 12:18 AM


two little ducks went out one day
over the hills and far away
mother duck say "_____________________" (fill in yourself)
and none of the little ducks came back.


i stopped , Thursday, November 06, 2008 12:05 AM


argh!

2nd november.
i was just freaking irritated and pissed with him. i cant be bothered to elaborate too. i just hope to change team soon. im somewhat dying there.
after school, had some exercise-come-fun with pat, naf and zoe! weee~ laughed like siao. then sectionals. then contiued to do publicity things.
after all that, went to causeway point to get things and trained home. freaking burnt out.

tomorrow will be teaming with my girls! WAHAHAHAHA! they are going to die in my hands! i hope i have the energy to disturb them till they go mad! beware of me! heh heh heh~

im worried about them. im just afraid they cannot cope being in both sides. although there's only like one extra piece they need to practice, but the main band pieces are already killing enough. im just afraid that they might get too stressed up. argh!


i stopped , Tuesday, November 04, 2008 12:04 AM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HUI CI!

tired is all i can say.

i need rest. i need sleep. i just need a longer holiday where i am free to rest. can i not go to school tomorrow?

1st november.
overslept by an hour. rushed to school and ended up being the earlier few. -.-
had exchange with NP band. dont want to talk about those crappy stuffs. but again. i was deprived of hot guys? or maybe there is just one or two who can barely pass. opps!
AND zoe and shirley said they love me! heh heh heh~
after that, rushed off to yuying for alumni practice. immediately started on warm ups and concerto damore cus 老爹 was late. then when 老爹 reached, continued with other pieces. then celebrated 老爹's birthday. then went home. azmir so bad! he taught me a new word! heh heh heh! and i was trying to trick muzamir and azmir by anyhow saying something in chinese. failed and yan ming and i were laughing like mad.
reached home at 11+pm and dinnered at going to 12am? then went to bed early. say 1.30am?

one whole day of music, i was freaking tired. it was madness. serious. i will never be that mad to do this again.
i would like to apologise to the alumni band flautists. im so sorry for being annoyed yesterday. i should not have thrown it at you girls just because im tired. im so sorry.

2nd november.
woke up at 1145am. all cus of mummy. cant she tell that im freaking tired? dont know how to be more flexible one leh. then went to grandparents place. went for piano too. and i told mummy i want to go for flute exams and i need a flute for that. then she was complaining about me know practicing my piano at home and all that. she even asked me to go work to support my expensive hobby. maybe i should.

i hate it(her).
just hate it that much.
can i quit now?


i stopped , Sunday, November 02, 2008 11:19 PM