you can't have a rainbow , without any rain .

ALL THE BEST PEPZ!! ITS EXAM TIME ONCE AGN!!!

okies..its sh*t! i think i have screwed up my EL & MT paper 1s!! its PRELIMS okies?! im like totally NOT prepared!! i think i screwed up both of tt papers!! OMG! & i sort of jus recovered but still a lil nonsense like cough & all tt. & the thing is tt i feel very weird abt nt having to use correction tapes or liquid paper for my mistakes!! its very difficut. but i did it. lolx! i did LOTS of cancelling today. lolx! LOTS of wrong words & things wriiten today.. 1 word to describe my papers today: SCREWED!!
aft papers, slacked wif ming in skool. gt POA remedial den supposed to b studying in skool de. but we ended up doing nth much but tok & play a fool! lolx! hahax! but i still did study! hax! & until nw i still have n taken tt SS test. supposed to take ytd. but i went hm! =P
& tt stupid cough of mine seemed to be getting worse! hope its nt like last time tt 1..my voice like changed tt time! & all of a sudden i feel like writting letters to ALL of my band pepz!

ytd. TOTALLY NT WELL!! i think i had a slight fever & plus my whole body was aching like madness!! due to the 2.4 on wed & cus im nt well too! den i didnt cared much abt the physics remedial aft skool. jus went hm to slp. special thanx to pepz who cared for me ytd!! thanx!! love ya pepz LOADS!!

wed. KILLER! we had our F&N practical test. & i so ~~LOVE~~ cooking lah can! den summore i was having flu due to the late nites as usual i guess..hahax! luckily nt during the 1st day of prelims..if nt i sure die! den u ask me to cook?! kidding me arhx?! but no choice. den only did 4 dishes cus toufu was my last dish main thing! den dun have! so i didnt care much..anyhow cook. looks like shit or tasted like shit i oso dun care much le..hax! i was lucky to had kind pepz ard me to provide me wif tissues! hahax! this was really bad! i used like 8-9 packets of tissues! i think i better bring a tissue box like last time of in case of emergency. hahax! aft skool gt 2.4..lolx! killer! i still have to run?! *ARGH!!* when i run, im fine. but i had tissues in my pocket of emergencies.. hahax! den aft the run it came back!! runny nose like water fall!! den zhi chao was so sweet can! i asked him to buy eunice a can of drink cus she nt well..den he helped or rather fought wif me send it over to her lah! hahax! such a sweet person..

okies. i think in june aft the concert, i really officially steeping dwn. hax! im like so gg to miss u band pepz lah! anw, jus wished i culd find a nice suitable music for this..hahax! okies..its like, we have been tgt for so long le..be it sweet, bitter or sour memories tt we have collected thru the yrs we had spent tgt, jus wanna let u band pepz noe tt i will oways support u pepz all the way!! I LOVE U PEPZ LOADS!!

*will try to gt all the band photos taken recently & post it here. & will try to gt the YYCB blog up aft exams ASAP!! pls b patient!!

have i changed?
or is it due to the stress?
i feel like a changed person all of a sudden.
weird or cool?

Labels: SCREWED

i stopped , Friday, April 27, 2007 9:52 PM

sianx! tmr gt maths mock exam. & im totally nt prepared!! totally ~~LOVE~~ maths!

anw. thurs & friday was i guess my last 2 band prac wif my pepz! new committee cuming up! hahax! cool~
thurs band prac was a killer!! was having a lil prob wif my dearest egan..aiyoh..den jane gt angry. for the 1st time!! it was quite funny when she's angry! hahax! didnt have much combine.i was wanting a combine dam badly lah! i rather have combine! instead gt sectionals..sianx~ spent my time slacking, teaching the juniors & practicing wif jane! den mr f. & mr p. toked to the sec 4s & 5s..told us abt wat they palnned so far..nxt yr gg to japan!! I WANNA GO!! den we HAVE TO perform for the concert end of the yr. tt 1 understandable.hahax! den national day gg to have marching in skool as performance! den june have "concert under the stars!"..so many things..& they r all planned! hahax! cool!
friday! very boring day~ watched horror movie for F&N. lolx! hahax! den aft skool gt chinese remedial..doing compo half way almost died! mu msged me & asked me to take the band for fall in cus he g MT remedial..lolx! its been a long time since i took fall in lah! den in the end mr f. asked me o do smth..& luckily gt jason ard..if nt i sure die! hahax! den took jane & brid wif me to look for mr f. outside skool..made us walk 1 whole round cus he told me wrong direction! lolx! den summore i oso nt farmilar wif tt area. luckily met GoRo they all. thanx! den found mr f. shopping for titbits! its for the band! hahax! cus its the last band prac b4 we break for exams.hahax! den mr f. treat us drinks! but for me, it was forced! anw, thanx mr f.! hahax!
den band prac wif the juniors! or rather the seniors r the main pepz playing. hax! played we the people! 1st time playing..supposed to play 2nd flute de, den jane forced me to play the picc part! but den playing half way i left! hahax! went to do smth..didnt felt like doing at all..i rather go have band prac loh..den aft band prac gt meeting..wanted to go, but felt very funny cus only the "BIG" pepz were there..den mr f. forced me to go, but den i nvr go cus gt smth to do 1st..but the meeting ended a lil earlier than the thing i was doing! lolx! was having sexuality tok wif kenneth, ah liang & mingyan! lolx! hahax! all nonsense! den sat at the bus stop chatting wif kenneth & mu..

ytd had oral..went back to skool jus for oral..lolx! den toked to eunice..son, if u were her, i will oso do the same to u..or even to any1 else..tts wat friends r for! =)
den was the last few hu..lolx! ah liang & sam helped me..hahax! thanx! den aft tt went back hm..had some conflict wif my parents..den studied for abt 4 hrs in 1 shot! cool! i nvr done this b4..hahax! y cant they jus understand me? they always act like they understand me! i have alr planned wat im gg to do for the day & nw i have to change my plan jus bcus of them?! pls loh. i tot to them studying is the most important thing. they always sae tt i jus have to put in my best effort even if i dun gt "As", they wont mind. but pls..i understand em LOTS better..all they want r jus "As". i jus dun understand y. so wat if i dun gt "As"? does it means tt im stupid? lolx! im alr facing reality tt i need "papers" to gt somewhere in the world. & im working on it! u only expect to c immediate effect. but im a human too!! *argh!*

anw..im thinking of taking part in the marching thingy for national day in skool..hax! so cool! but den if i do, i have to keep mum abt it. or i will die if my parents now abt it! mr p. sae if we join for the national day thiny, its okie if we dun go for all the pracs, but for the last 2 weeks of pracs, i gotta go! *ARGH!* & oso depending on my prelims results..scared canot cope..& "Os" r near tt period too..im still thinking abt it!! shld i or shld i not?!*HELP!*

anw, i have gave my name to join the YYCB alumni band! *YEAH!*

im worried, worried, worried!
band, studies, "Os", "A1s"?!
STRESSED!!

i stopped , Sunday, April 22, 2007 10:31 PM

okies. i dun think im okie. in terms of, im still rmbring 11 april very deeply which i blame myself for nt practicing hard enough & for being SUPERB nervous on stage & i culd have overcome it.
but anw, its over.

okies. life in skool was superb boring! but i didnt slp in class today. i was jus superb concern for henderson can! especially aft the chat wif veron last nite. i was still having the same feeling like last thrus. its like 5 days had passed since SYF lah! duno wat's gotten into me...

the thing tt was a killer to me today was the remedial aft skool. okies..i jus have myself to blame cus i failed the maths test & failures got to stay back for re-test! *argh!* cus i needed to rush off to SCH to listen to henderson! i jus wanna hear sunrise & valor! jus brings back memories..anw, went there to support them too! den i jus rush through the test, trying to do all tt i noe. den rush dwn to "fly" off wif brid & jane!

its so lame lah! my 2 darlings tt accompanyed me to SCH had nt enough $..luckily i have enough, if nt sure die! hahax! anw we sort of took mrt den change to taxi.lolx! den we were jus in time! but we culd nt go in.*sadded!* when we reached, we knew we culd nt go in, so we stayed outside & listen. their playing was COOL! jus by listening to valor, it really brings back LOTS of memories. hahax! den mr f. treated us to drinks & snacks! hahax! i didnt noe lao dad was in the hall listening lah! hahax! he didnt noe we came too! =P

we sneaked in for the results! all thanks to mr f. & mr p..they taught us hw to sneak in..hahax! we we were SUPERB afraid tt we mght b caught, so when we were allowed to go in, we sort of ran up the stairs..hahax! den mr f. & mr p. waiting for us outside..hahax! upon hearing the results for henderson, i was really totally shocked!! i really freezed for a moment thinking y did they gt bronze. but since its over, they r all memories! cheer up henderson band pepz! u ppl did ur best, had fun tgt, work hard tgt, etc..

aft tt went to compass for dinner wif darlings! we really toked LOTS! hahax! crapping, gossipping or watever u call tt, we did tt! hahax! really enjoyed myself today! thanx to my 2 darlings!! they were like making me laugh can! & they told me smth very sad. im so sry to hear abt it too..but hu ask the skool to fix it on ur birthdays?! hahax! hope tt it postpone, so tt urbirthdays wuld b a happy 1!! hax! i think this might b the last few times we r gg out tgt this yr..sianx! thanx so much for making my day! & its the 1st time the 3 of us went out tgt!! YEAH!

'O's r jus wat ppl c in thier eyes?! pls lah..we r oso human! we nid rests too!

there can be miracles,
when u believe.
no one knows what miracles,
u can achieve!
as long as u did ur best,
ur efforts had been paid off!

i stopped , Monday, April 16, 2007 11:29 PM

SYF is ALL OVER! all the happy days with my dearest ppl are ALL over.. & people are expecting me to start mugging frm nw on..lolx! im no robot can! i nid rest too!

anw.we gt a silver.im both happy & sadded.happy cus at least we maintain our standard and is comparable to some good bands cus they also gt silver. sadded cus its my last day with ALL my dearest and we didnt managed to achieve what we wanted..haiix!

11 april:
im like having total disappointment with myself. i didnt perform well that day. i was really SUPERB nervous when its nearing the solo for sunrise. for the 1st few notes of the solo, i was quite confident. but as i continued to play, i had no confident in myself! & i think that i totally screwed up the solo. i was superb sadded at tt time & didnt felt like carrying on with at dawn. but then no choice. then i had more confidence for at dawn. until bar 75. i was playing & praying hard at the same time to hope that we wont rush at that part & everything will go well. but in the end..haiix! so when we went off the stage, step 1 foot out of the door of SCH, i cried my heart out! so did jane & ming. i really culd nt take it. to me, i felt as if im the person who caused us the silver. & im quite surprise that i cried for a LONG time & ming stopped earlier than me!! OMG! then LOTS of ppl came to console..ming asked mr f. to console me. if im nt wrong, this was their conversation.

ming: mr f.! can u go & console vanessa?
mr f.: y?
ming: she crying bcus she say tt she nvr played her solo well..
mr f.: u think u played ur solo very well arhx?
dam evil lah! sae until lidat..

even mr p. oso came to console.
mr p.: y u crying? ur solo was well played wat.. i nvr heard any wrong notes..
me: (THINKING) stop lying to me & urself lah..i noe well myself..

den tchers came to console. my dearest azmir, chin suan, ferlyn & others came to console. THANX PPL!! LOVE & MISS U PPL SO MUCH CAN! den we went back to sch. go band rm & listen to our playing cus mr f. asked nel-nel to record. when we were listening to sunise, i hide my head under my uniform when its nearing the solo part. luckily i didnt keep my uniform. den ming & i had war! when we listen to at dawn, she tried to cover her ears, but i manage to pull her hands off! den aft tt gt debrief. mr p. sae tt we gt silver very lucky le. cus our playing so nt very gd. i think so too. but they didnt mind us nt getting wat we aimed for. so quite relieved. but i still think tt i owe both conductors an apology for nt playing the solo well..

today:
ppl in sch congrated me upon getting silver. but i wasnt in any mood to entertain em..but this is wat i said.

me: there's nth to congratulate abt. cus we didnt do well.

see? i wasnt in the mood & too tired to do anything at all. & i forgot to bring LOTSA stuff! den i was said by some of my tchers. but i oso dun care cus im very tired! cant they jus understand WE students? we go thru hard work & tough training for SYF & sort of for them, & all they noe is to blame us for small lil things. i think tt its crap lah! its SYF ytd & u expect us to start studying immediately although we r tired? WE ANIT ROBOTS! we nid a break too! i was really too tired to speak. den ppl asked me cold jokes, but my brain is nt working at all, hw to think & ans. those lame qns.? ha!

today no band prac! its nt my kind of life. im used to being busy with other things excpet h/w & studies! & no more band prac? so i have to go hm rite aft remedials & all tt?! i canot live lidat manx! studying too much oso will go crazy loh. tmr aft MT remedial, its like nt even 3pm den i have to go hm alr? lolx! but i heard nxt wk gt band prac! YEAH! hopefully we can step dwn soon. i have been waiting for this day to arrive so tt my family members wont make so much noise!! but i will SURELY miss my dearests!

actally i was feeling SUPERB stressed up! but den the feeling was nt the same as SYF '05! it really felt diff o me..i duno y..
anw..i will keep ALL memories tt we had tgt with me, myself & i! nvr gonna forgt any bit of it!

to those ppl who consoled me ytd, THANX A MILLION for ur concern! im feeling much better nw! & sry tt i dao u ppl when u were tryng to console me.

to mr f. & mr p., sry for nt playing the solo well. i jus felt superb nervous & culd nt calm myself dwn at tt moment. & nt only tt i didnt do well for the solo, other parts of other piece oso badly played. i was nt able to play as long as hw i normally played. so sry.

i stopped , Thursday, April 12, 2007 9:50 PM

ARGH!!! today is my last band prac wif my DEARESTs!!

im like feeling SUPERB stressed up!!! i have nvr felt this way before can! even the previus SYF, i also nvr felt this way before..maybe cus we are leading the band..who knows..the only thing i know is that i have owed tchers LOTSA h/w..& tt im feeling SUPERB stressed!!

its SO discouraging to hear the results of the SYF..so far only gt 1 GOH lah! & those good bands are like dropping?! some from gold to silver!! OMG!! we are actually feeling very pressured!! omg! i still rmbred tt last yr was tha strict! & the worse thing that can ever happen to us it that MR F. is SICK!!! omg!! argh!

anw..i have been thinking LOTS! abt wat will we gt for SYF..wat will happen to our DEAREST juniors aft we leave..& all that kind of stuff..

im i jus too paranoid?
im jus too stressed!!
cant i jus lead a simple life?

i stopped , Tuesday, April 10, 2007 11:14 PM

HAPPY APRIL FOOL!! lolx!

okies! its like..10 more days to SYF?! its so fast lah!! i still dun have enough fun wif my DEAREST band members yet lah!! haiix!

29 march..
band prac!! i been trying to pay attention in class..but its band prac tt im MORE interested in!!
den it was usual stuff for band prac..had sectionals..gave the sec 1s a mini test to see who shld be placed in 1st & 2nd flutes..cus they have to learn the melody of SUNRISE!! lolx! den i was quite pissed tt day..cant she be more adult-ish?! so childish lah can! irritation is all i gt frm her!! anw..den we sorted the sec 1s..but they might be changed by lao dad lah..so..oh well..i tot angline & jane tot egan..the rest went to 2nd flutes.. den repair man came..so took out the instru. tt will b using for SYF to repair 1st..den jane took out the yamaha picc..den he took it back to repair..=( very long time nvr play tt picc le.. den aft the sec 1s left, we had combine..*YEAH!* but LOTS of the time were used for sectionals..so combine awhile den go hm le..

3o march..
had combine for the whle band prac..mu had prayers, den its usual tt guy to dun cum, den jason was supposed to relax..so i was supposed to take the fall in..but so lucky tt mu came back in time for fall in..but den i think he nvr had his lunch..haiix..thanx lots for coming to my rescue!! hahax! okies..i was like quite busy before fall in..cus i nid to gt this & do all the other thing else..& im afraid i forgt..so i asked ming to remind me!! den summore no chinese remidial..den i had more time for lunch..den band prac..den repair man came to return the instru...the picc is fine nw..but im still using the NIE picc..den nw i duno which to use..jane & i were were dam pissed off on this day during band prac..i admit tt we did play a fool at the begining of the prac..but den aft tt i kept toking to jane cus i heard LOTS of mistakes..& i was tapping on her leg to help her for the at dawn cus she oways slow dwn at tt part!!! IS TT CONSIDERED AS PLAYING?! gt ur facts rite before u anyhw scold & accuse others!! & i oways c u playing a fool also loh..but jane & i jus didnt sae anything cus u R a senior..even if we did..we didnt scold or accuse u!! u ppl jus dun understand..jane & i keep on toking cus we r discussing ways to improve the section!! dont u ppl wanna gt wat u aim for?! den y r u all still slacking?!
anw..its my big bro's 1st book out!! almost culd nt recognised him.. =D

31 march..
speech day..is a total sianx-ful day..we were like songka band playing lah! lolx! brid was ntwell..but she still came!! tts so the spirit my dear! den aft the parade segment, we rushed into the band rm..den we were let off for lunch..den brid had fever!! OMG! so lina & ming took care of her while waiting for her parent to pick her..den jane & i went to mac to da bao food for em..den we gobbled our food cus we had to leave for nan chiau high for exchange..& i was superb full! tt when i tot im so dead..cus i will nt b able to play tt well..nt enough air..den hack care..everything still had to go on..percussion arhx..haix! espcially tt person..aiyoh..nid help jussae lah..ended up dropping the cymbals..den i helped her to take both cymbals..so i felt like a percussionist at tt moment..hahax! okies..den we were brot to a classrm..den we did a lil warm up here & there..did some parts of both pieces..den mr f. keep asking those ppl hu brot us to the classsrm if we nided to b in the hall alr..but they told him tt if we r ready den we can procede to the hall..den mr f. was like okies..jus 1 more time..hahax! so funny lah! very cartoon sia..den we went to the hall..den we were lucky tt the ppl hu went to take prize came in time & our turn to play was aft the break..if nt we have to play w/o em..jianwei was having fever due to the speech day!! hw shi hui was having a headache too!! ppl..pls take great care of urself! we canot afford to fall sick during this period of time!! get well soon!! den we were the 2nd last skool to perform..it was MUCH MUCH better than the previous exchange!! den we had games..hahax! instead of interacting wif the other skool ppl of the same setion, jane, ming & i ended up playing on our own..hahax! so fun..den kena bullied by my whole flute section..den went to the toilet half way during the intro..duno y the whole section went tgt..lolx! den i showed ming & jane wat i meant by i had prepared GD LUCK..lolx! hahax!

1 april..
april fool's day..lolx! supposed to wake up at 7am..& i did! but i c no1 else wake up..so i carried on slping..hahax! den i was the last to wash up..& i was blamed for being the slowest..lolx! i was like watever..pls gt ur facts rite..i was the 1st to wake up when my clock went off! i wanted to sae all tt..but i was too tired to argue wif em..den went to the temple..den aft tt went to the prata huse for breakfast..cool~ den went back hm..when i reached hm, i jus immediately lie on the sofa & slp..den wake up to go to my grandparents huse for lunch..went back hm agn..wanting to slp..but i ended up watching tv..den went to my other grandma's huse..den had a quick dinner..& rushed back hm..cus my big bro forgt to change his specs..lolx! he nid to go back to camp..it was the 1st time i saw him in his army no. 4..he seriously look dam man lah! hahax!

there can b miracles
when u believe
no one knows wat miracles
u can achieve

yuying concert band!
you can do it!!
we can create a miracle!
lets jus go for it!
practice hard & spend the last 10 days with the graduating seniors well!

i stopped , Sunday, April 01, 2007 8:11 PM