im in freaking extremely low spirits.school was boring today. or rather i was not paying attention in class cus i was freaking nervous about the audition during lesson. everytime i looked at the time, the butterflies in my stomach multiply by half? lol. and nothing could get into and out of my head. i seriously could not think. my mine was blank. im so sorry for not giving my ideas and helping you all team 1.. cus i could not understand the thingy myself.. was not able to celebrate ms lee's birthday with the rest cus of the audition. so didnt pon school.after school, met up with syu and hafiiz at W1 then headed to TRCC for audition. omg. i was freaking nervous and i wanted to back out. then headed to this room to practice scales and merry widow. okie. seriously speaking, it was not as tough as it seem to be, or maybe cus i heard before. but the difficulty is still there.. so we were practicing merry widow and scales. we were panic-ing while practicing. blah blah blah.. and the audition started late. there were 5 flautists today. and i was the third to go in. then it was my turn! damn freaky. so many people in the room watching me, alone. the senior told us that about 4-5 people only.. then ended up so many?! i was superb nervous. it was "shi-brato".. then the conductor started to ask questions.conductor: hello. me: (smile)conductor: what is your name?me: vanessaconductor: vanessa...... what school are you from?me: yuying...conductor: yuming......?me: yuying. yu ying.conductor: orh. were you there when i was there last year?me: hmm.. yes..conductor: what instrument u played?me: flute and piccolo.conductor: what was the most difficult piece you played before?me: hmm.. lord of the rings-hobbits..conductor: lord of the rings last movement..me: yeah.. (i think i saw some of them with the "wah...." expression on their face)conductor: okie... let's start with scales.... could you play D major scale? play in quavers. (after that singing the tune)me: okie. (what the hell?! okie... D major got F# and C#)( and i was dumb enough to start on the middle D)conductor: could you start from the low D? i understand its a difficult scale..me: orh.. (then i played)after scales...conductor: okie.. have you tried the whole piece just now?me: hmmm.. no..conductor: where did you stop?me: hmm... figure 4? (looking at the score)conductor: okie.. so could you play figure 3 to the end?me: figure 3 to figure 4? okie....after playing that part......conductor: hmmm... good. anything to add on SL? (looking at shirley)shirley: hmmmm.......... can you play me your highest B flat?me: orh. (played)shirley: can you play your lowest C?me: orh. (shit. for all notes, ask me to play that C?) (played)conductor: okie. thank you. you may go now. (with that kind smile)okie. that's about it. and i screwed up the audition. it was really bad. i think if i screw up merry widow, i think nvm and still can forgive myself. but for all things, SCALES! that i cannot forgive myself. keep on playing the wrong notes. and the F# problem again! just cannot play the damn F#. what the hell. im damn disappointed with myself lah. i was actually dumb enough to start from middle D when i was asked to play 2 octaves? i wanted to cry after the audition, but i was busy talking to someone so it sort of distracted me. then i saw hafiiz cried right after coming out. omg lah. i blur. then conforted him then keep instrument then went home. on the way back was super sadded that i screwed up lah. haix.. but at least its over, so i concentrate on UTs. but still cannot get over it lah. anw. thanks to mf for replying my craps. and thanks to syu and hafiiz for making feel better with all your craps. cannot be weak and cry in front of you all. so i held back my tears. i now have no mood to study for tomorrow's UT.. haix.now that audition is over,the sense of relief is there.but the disappointment in myself just cannot be forgotten.and now UTs are up next.the stress just never leaves..haix....
i stopped , Monday, May 05, 2008 8:36 PM