SYF is ALL OVER! all the happy days with my dearest ppl are ALL over.. & people are expecting me to start mugging frm nw on..lolx! im no robot can! i nid rest too!anw.we gt a silver.im both happy & sadded.happy cus at least we maintain our standard and is comparable to some good bands cus they also gt silver. sadded cus its my last day with ALL my dearest and we didnt managed to achieve what we wanted..haiix!11 april:im like having total disappointment with myself. i didnt perform well that day. i was really SUPERB nervous when its nearing the solo for sunrise. for the 1st few notes of the solo, i was quite confident. but as i continued to play, i had no confident in myself! & i think that i totally screwed up the solo. i was superb sadded at tt time & didnt felt like carrying on with at dawn. but then no choice. then i had more confidence for at dawn. until bar 75. i was playing & praying hard at the same time to hope that we wont rush at that part & everything will go well. but in the end..haiix! so when we went off the stage, step 1 foot out of the door of SCH, i cried my heart out! so did jane & ming. i really culd nt take it. to me, i felt as if im the person who caused us the silver. & im quite surprise that i cried for a LONG time & ming stopped earlier than me!! OMG! then LOTS of ppl came to console..ming asked mr f. to console me. if im nt wrong, this was their conversation.ming: mr f.! can u go & console vanessa?mr f.: y?ming: she crying bcus she say tt she nvr played her solo well..mr f.: u think u played ur solo very well arhx?dam evil lah! sae until lidat..even mr p. oso came to console. mr p.: y u crying? ur solo was well played wat.. i nvr heard any wrong notes..
me: (THINKING) stop lying to me & urself lah..i noe well myself..
den tchers came to console. my dearest azmir, chin suan, ferlyn & others came to console. THANX PPL!! LOVE & MISS U PPL SO MUCH CAN! den we went back to sch. go band rm & listen to our playing cus mr f. asked nel-nel to record. when we were listening to sunise, i hide my head under my uniform when its nearing the solo part. luckily i didnt keep my uniform. den ming & i had war! when we listen to at dawn, she tried to cover her ears, but i manage to pull her hands off! den aft tt gt debrief. mr p. sae tt we gt silver very lucky le. cus our playing so nt very gd. i think so too. but they didnt mind us nt getting wat we aimed for. so quite relieved. but i still think tt i owe both conductors an apology for nt playing the solo well..today:ppl in sch congrated me upon getting silver. but i wasnt in any mood to entertain em..but this is wat i said. me: there's nth to congratulate abt. cus we didnt do well.see? i wasnt in the mood & too tired to do anything at all. & i forgot to bring LOTSA stuff! den i was said by some of my tchers. but i oso dun care cus im very tired! cant they jus understand WE students? we go thru hard work & tough training for SYF & sort of for them, & all they noe is to blame us for small lil things. i think tt its crap lah! its SYF ytd & u expect us to start studying immediately although we r tired? WE ANIT ROBOTS! we nid a break too! i was really too tired to speak. den ppl asked me cold jokes, but my brain is nt working at all, hw to think & ans. those lame qns.? ha!today no band prac! its nt my kind of life. im used to being busy with other things excpet h/w & studies! & no more band prac? so i have to go hm rite aft remedials & all tt?! i canot live lidat manx! studying too much oso will go crazy loh. tmr aft MT remedial, its like nt even 3pm den i have to go hm alr? lolx! but i heard nxt wk gt band prac! YEAH! hopefully we can step dwn soon. i have been waiting for this day to arrive so tt my family members wont make so much noise!! but i will SURELY miss my dearests!actally i was feeling SUPERB stressed up! but den the feeling was nt the same as SYF '05! it really felt diff o me..i duno y..anw..i will keep ALL memories tt we had tgt with me, myself & i! nvr gonna forgt any bit of it!
to those ppl who consoled me ytd, THANX A MILLION for ur concern! im feeling much better nw! & sry tt i dao u ppl when u were tryng to console me.
to mr f. & mr p., sry for nt playing the solo well. i jus felt superb nervous & culd nt calm myself dwn at tt moment. & nt only tt i didnt do well for the solo, other parts of other piece oso badly played. i was nt able to play as long as hw i normally played. so sry.
i stopped , Thursday, April 12, 2007 9:50 PM